This is the official headquaters of the "funLiam for president" campaign.

The campaign was started about the middle of March 99' in lieu of the upcoming elections in numerous societies all around DCU.

Currently contained here, is some of the articles in the ever-increasing 'funLiam Manifesto'.

The funLiam Manifesto       

In anticipation of a landslide victory in all upcoming elections the candidate being known as "funLiam" has drawn a plan for his term in office. A history of things to come if you like (or even if you don't like - funLiam ain't no gay arsed democrat who listens to fools)

Anyway here's some of the major policies of the FLASK (in no particular order)

1. Any young men or women not currently serving in any armed forces who wear combats will be airdropped into the nearest warzone with a bullseye on their back.

2. During the year funLiam will organise the largest ever Startrek convention in the world. We will aim to get all of the worlds Startrek fans under one roof. funLiam will then seal all the exits and burn the place down.

3. Ugly people will be obliged to keep a paper bag over their heads. For really ugly people a plastic bag will be insisted upon.

5. Students Union will be abolished and all members will be crucified.

6. All male business students will be rounded up at gunpoint and given thirty seconds to justify their existence. Those that fail will be shot. Those that succeed will also be shot on the grounds that no one likes a smartarse.

7. Like all Dictators funLiam has no time for press freedom. From the time of his coming to power The Onion will be declared the one true source of all current affairs information. This could be achieved by firing all the staff and replacing them with journalists, however that would be boring. Instead, funLiam will endeavor to make the world behave more like The Onion. Thus "Retro Crazed German Youth" will be encouraged to "invade Poland", the Pope will be coerced into admitting "God ain't said shit to me" and the funLiam Research Institute will find conclusive proof that "Sudden Infant Death Syndrome is linked to Bad Parents who should have done better".

8. Stanley Kubrick will be dug up, ressurected and refused the right to die
in peace until he explains the ending of  "2001 A Space Odyssey" to everyone.

9. All feminists will be ordered to shave their body hair. This will of course make it difficult to distinguish between them and the Sumo wrestlers but the good of humanity is at stake here.

10. In a radical overhaul of secondary level education, all schools will be required to screen students for entry, not on the grounds of academic excellence but on their abilty to spontaneously burst into well choreographed dance routines at the break.

11. People who speak very loudly into mobile phones will have the basic principle of the equipment (that you don't have to shout in order to speak to people who are far away) explained to them with the aid of a stick with a load of nails through it.

12. Ireland will embark upon a thermonuclear weapons programme the aim of which will be to develop a long range neutron bomb before the Sydney Olympics. Funding for this project will come from the discontinuation of all non-essential spending of taxs eg Mercs for ministers, Government jet, water to Swords etc. The purpose of this is that we will be ready for the next time a British commentator slanders an Irish athelete by claiming them as British, and we will be able to respond accordingly. Longer range missiles will be developed for use against any nation whose citizens have been known to refer to Ireland as being part of the "British isles".

13. Alanis Morrisette will be beaten around the head and shoulders with a large trout and ordered to "lighten the fuck up".

14. Ditto the Manic Street Preachers. 

15. Italy will be banned, all Italians will be given twenty-four hours to vacate the continent. (They still haven't apologised for inventing fascism or spagetti).

16. People who cry during acceptance speeches will have their Oscar taken
back.

17. funLiam will assure that never again will his citizens be forced to endure the frustration of late buses or trains.................timetables will be abolished.

18. Young Tallaght motorists will be allowed to pull over squad cars and say: "Is this YOUR car officer? And where are we going in such a hurry? Let's see some I.d please".

19. Foxhunting will NOT be banned despite pressure from animal rights activists ("Cry me a river ya lousy stinking hippies" quoth Liam). Instead, foxes will be given guns and trained to shoot back.

20. People who insist that golf is a sport will have their legs broken.

21. Liam will take on the No.1 inequality issue facing society...........He will campaign for men's right to have multiple orgasms.

22. funLiam will ensure that one-armed people must not have a hook as their functioning arm. Instead, the hooks will be replaced with toilet brushes on the grounds that one can never have too clean a bowl.

23. The manufacturers of "white rock cola" be tracked down, tied to a metal chair in a dark room, and forced to explain just _how_ naturally flavoured their product is.

24. That "cynicism" and "lying" become core subjects for leaving cert, in order to better prepare the student for third-level education.

The FLASK - A closet Britney Spears fan.

For all the latest additions to the Manifesto as they happen, type :
pico ~funliam/manifesto

Manifesto Compilers :
jesus, autocrat, doc, kpodesta

The Slogans :
"One People, One Nation, One Thermos."
"Ein  Reich, Ein Volk, Ein Thermos."
"When there's only one Thermos, there's only one choice."
"In Flask We Trust"
"God is not a DJ - he's a Thermos."
"funLiam - if you were running for president, he'd vote for you. Twice."
"I'm hoping for an orderly election tomorrow which will eliminate the need for a violent bloodbath."
"A Spectre is haunting Europe. That Spectre is Flaskism."
"funLiam - the choice of a 'I don't want to die at the hands of a totalitarian Thermos' generation"

When you doubt funLiam, heed only these words...
faith and Flask both start with F.
F is the first letter of funLiam's name....
F in the nato Alphabet is represented by the word Foxtrot.....
This means that funLiam won't waltz us into danger....
Thermos sounds very like the name Thecla, which is a saint's name...
therfore we trust funLiam....

- The Autocrat